This one had been burning a hole in my brain for a long time. It just looked cool. Mildly intimidating, scenic, and varied. But since it was on the north side and shady, it needed a warm day. With the perfect weather this weekend we were finally set up head out and get it.
We hit the parking lot and had breakfast while packing gear next to another couple who were also getting packs ready. We ended up chatting with them a bit, curious if maybe they were headed out to climb in Wonderland too, but no, just hikers, waiting on their friend for a cross-country hike. Sounded intense. They reminisced about their past experiences climbing in Joshua Tree, not too much, but some climbing back in the day. Jack mentioned that Mental Physics was his favorite, and that while he wasn’t actively climbing anymore, someday he hoped for the opportunity to climb it again. After we all set off our respective ways, we had a sudden thought and doubled back to leave our phone number on their windshield. We were planning on redoing Mental Physics at some point this season and so why not extend the invitation? Adding a third climber into the rotation wouldn’t even slow us down compared to the approach and requisite wandering it takes just to find the climb.
And speaking of wandering, we sure got some. The hike started out great, scenic and idyllic. The wash was spectacular. The Nolina were popping off, and we saw a host of other flowers as well, including the little brilliant little poppies that actually turn out to be lilies. After a snack break across from High Strung (also on our list), we found Don Juan Boulder quickly and easily. But then the backtracking began in earnest. We waded through fields of cactus. And then waded back. Waded through a different cactus field. We proceeded to hike and backtrack for way too long. Getting hot with our heavy packs and regretting our life choices. After thoroughly tracing what seemed like every possible path through the entire area adjacent to South Astro Dome, we found ourselves on the upper ramp.
We finally cleared the saddle between the two domes and meandered our way down to a shady outcrop. Now we were swarmed by flies. Little black flies all over our faces. I’ve never felt more over it. It was a beautiful day, we had finally found the climb, but I was feeling the lowest stoke for climbing I can ever remember feeling. And for a route I’ve been dying to climb! We struggled through a snack and water break, cooled down a bit, and decided to get it despite everything. I didn’t feel great about it, being just frustrated and over it, but went ahead anyway.
Things turned around immediately. Once we were on the wall the files disappeared, and the climbing turned our moods right around. I soloed the bouldery offwidth start and Emma walked around to join me on the mini-ledge with the rope. A few insecure, awkward 5.8 jams led to some really solid, epic jamming, which gave way to horns and divots. Meandering moves on interesting features. It really felt like the best of J-Tree in one pitch. The hueco belay pocket was really interesting, and a fun place to hang out.
The second pitch looked like it began with an awkward stem out of the pocket, but I opted to exit to the right onto some positive ridges and lips. I kept waiting for the spice, but always found that circuitous route finding and exploring allowed for easy moves. There was lots of good hands (for slab) and occasional cutouts and ridges allowed for solid stances and a few dramatic lieback and swing moves that you don’t normally get to do on slab. The surface was way grippier than Double Dip or Stichter, more like Penny Lane. I had heard 5.8 or 5.9 for this pitch, but I can’t remember a move of that difficulty. Maybe one? But it would have to have been right after a bolt, so maybe it didn’t register. So yeah, it went much easier than expected. The runouts were there, and fairly serious, but the climbing never felt particularly serious. And I definitely can’t complain as it wasn’t completely flowing with water.
The summit was awesome, with views of the whole park and the North Astro Dome next door. We took it in, got some pictures, and then headed down. Emma took the lead on the rappel on this one. It was later in the day than we had hoped for, what with our wandering approach, so we hurried our way back to the car. We had to finagle some favors to get the dog picked up from boarding in time, but we felt fine about it, the day was completely worth it. All-time route, with endless smiles. In a spot with tons of really good climbs, I think this might be my favorite route at Joshua Tree.
Breakfast of Champions
5.8+/5.9 – Two pitches – 170′
with Emma
Initial 5.8 jams feel dicey, but quickly become solid.
Pitch two is all there.
Miramontes says 5.9 but we both felt like 5.8 felt right (for both pitches).
To keep loads light for long approach: snacks instead of lunch (no icepacks!), minimal water,
Next time: Doubles .3 – 2, optional #3 (not needed!), no stoppers. Barely enough rigging to cover.
After the start, running out pitch one is NBD (easy ground). And you’ll only need three draws for P2.
Hueco exit to the right goes secure with less cluster-fall potential.
Was in the sun when we arrived, barely going into the shade at 11:30.
Approach
From the main wash: overshoot Don Juan Boulder and zigzag southwest-ish through ramps and hallways. From Don Juan tiptoe through the cactus to the West. We did two significant step-overs, then detoured to the north on a slab to a slippery, slabby, boulder with a split along the top. One high-step move takes you over the boulder onto slab ramps. Meander to a large “staircase” of a giant slanted boulder covered textured pocks and bumps. From here trend rightish (North) and head for a yellowy/dingy cactus (Opuntia chlorotica) that looks like a dead end. Rubble staircase (hidden as approaching) gets you to the main ramp along the base. Curve around boulders and dead yucca stumps on a winding trail passing a few Datura, trending upward but avoiding the dead-end trails towards the base (unless approaching a South Dome route). At the saddle, head all the way out to the lip (right). Tunneling under a big boulder will work here, but we opted to head farther out and climb up a short chute with decent “steps”. This puts you over the saddle and looking at NE face routes and North Dome. One last tricky maneuver to the left/south (north is cliff-out) and a descent will put you into a scrubby tree crawl that opens onto a decent shady flat boulder. BoC is a short series of down-scrambles along the base to the North.
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